pestering

Pestering is a Prominent and often Persistent Problem for Parents!

"Mommy, can I have a toy?"
"No. Not now."
"Yes but, Mommy, can I have a toy?"
"I said, no."
"Please Mommy, can I have a toy? I'll be good!"
"No!"
"But Mommy, why can't I have a toy?"
"You can't have a toy because....."
"Mommy, can I have a toy?"

Sound familiar?

The next time you find yourself trapped in this cycle of responding to a pestering child, try this technique to stop it:

"Mommy, can I have a toy?"
"No. Not this time."
"Yes but, Mommy, can I have a toy?"
"I said, no."
"Please Mommy, can I have a toy? I'll be good!"
"I'm sorry, but you have already asked three times. You may ask two more times, but then if you ask again there will have to be a consequence when we get home."

More often than not, that last remark stops the pestering attack cold. The key is that it now is clear you will not respond to the pestering with the expected (endless) "Mommy please" - "I said no" timewaster. However, the child is on notice that 1) this is identified misbehavior and 2) will be punished if it persists. The choice is now up to the child. The phony debate about whether and why the child gets the toy has ended; now the only thing left to discover is whether the child will choose to get a consequence for misbehaving.

Try this technique the next time you get sucked into the pester cycle!

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